Tuesday, August 3, 2010


So I have had a revelation of sorts. It happened a while back. We went to a new church (it's actually the church Erik went to as a child), and as we were walking in we saw teenagers in sweats and pj's, we saw people in shorts, we saw people in things I no longer wear to bars. I had to do a double take and make sure we were actually at a Catholic Church! As we got over the shock and the sermon began, I became more and more ashamed. By the end I was looking down at my lap... The sermon had been about judging others. Wow was that hitting home or what?!? So over the next few days I really thought about that sermon. So many things that we judge about people they really can't help or aren't at a place they can help it. I don't think anyone stops and says "Yep I think I want to be fat and unhealthy." People can't help going bald early, they can't change the physical characteristics they were given. But these are things we judge! There is a reason for everything and we don't know why someone does what they do... Being negative about it just brings down my mood! So for my own sanity, when there is a car that cuts me off I try to think of all the reasons they might do that... rushing to a sick child, pregnant wife, late for the most important meeting of their life... Is this probably the reason? No probably not, but it makes me feel better and has really changed my outlook on life. Am I saying I don't judge... things still pop in my head but I am quicker to stop and say "Who am I to judge this person?" Try it for a day... turn everything into a positive. Smile at the person that cuts you off in line... slow down and appreciate the little things and I promise you will feel so much better!

The one thing that gets me though are people who think they are morally above others who judge others they deem to not be religious enough or who make bad choices. And I'm just talking about day to day issues, not really serious crimes. Holding themselves above others and judging other's decisions. What church do you go to? Have they not taught you that you are no better? Have they not taught you to be tolerant? I just don't get that!

I have a friend who is in the ministry. He even performed our wedding ceremony. He has seen me through some of my lowest times in terms of bad decisions. I tried to think back to a time that he has ever judged me and could not think of a single time that he has (at least not outright, :o) that I know of). The most he ever said was "I'm worried about you." I'd expect that of any friend. I have so much respect for him and the work he does because of this. I also know that no matter what I can go to him and get guidance without being judged! I have another friend who is a preacher's wife. She is AMAZING with all the hats she wears, mom (to 3), teacher (she homeschools and teaches dance), social worker (she did hospice work!!!), vet (she has a bunch of puppies looking for homes), blogger (check her out http://encouragementfromemily.blogspot.com/)... the list goes on and on. But she is not afraid to reveal at all times her weaknesses in these areas and to ask for strength... these are the things that I admire most about her. Here is this person I look up to so much and have for many years and she is JUST LIKE ME! She is stumbling through this mom business too! As busy as she is she never fails to give words of encouragement and praise and I love her for it! These are the people I strive to be like. I have a long way to go but I hope someday people describe me as encouraging, tolerant, accepting, and through all this HAPPY!


  1. Well, that encourages me. It's very cool to know that my life has influenced your's. And here I thought that my greatest contribution to your life was helping you get through IB Chem. exams. ;)

    The judging thing is a challenge. Really, the higher the standard you hold yourself to, it's very challenging to not want to hold others to the same high standard. Which is probably why you hear other folks judge.

    But I have so many reflections on judging. Like, it's interesting that 5 verses after Jesus says "Judge not" (Matt. 7:1), Jesus says the following

    "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."
    Matt. 7:6

    ...which begs the question, "How do you discern whether someone is a 'dog' or a 'pig' unless you make... a JUDGMENT call?"

    So, it's tricky. Tough to discern. You just try to do your best & apologize when you get it wrong.

    Thanks for the kind comments.

  2. Ann, you are too sweet! I can't think of a thing about me that qualifies as "amazing", but I sure appreciate your kind words. You have no idea how much I needed them right now. Or maybe you do. :)

    I struggle as much as anyone with keeping my judgements in check, but I'll tell ya, the older I get and the more life I live, the less I stand in any place to judge someone else!!! I've learned there is a big difference between encouraging and speaking the truth in love and just judging because it makes me feel better about myself. I still have a ways to go though!!!