The battle of the goldfish...

I was just looking in my pantry for a snack and found not one, not two, but three open bags of goldfish crackers! Why you ask do we have three open bags?!? No it is not because we each have our own bags... It is because somedays it is the only way I can get through a shopping trip with a happy child. Target is very strategic with their placing of goldfish crackers... They have little milk carton looking goldfish snack boxes randomly throughout the store... shopping for a shower curtain, feel hungry? Here have some goldfish! Target knows there isn't a toddler alive that can pass goldfish and not scream for them! And the mom sees this little carton and thinks 2 dollars... that is totally worth 10 minutes without shouting "bottoms stay in the cart!" or "Lets practice using our inside voices" about 5 million times!
Lately however Target (and various other stores) have been stocking bags of goldfish crackers as close to the entrance of the store as they can without actually selling them from the parking lot. So we never make it to home goods for the cute little cartons... I start hearing "pish pish" the moment we walk in the door. If I continue walking she starts into a louder "cacker pish, cacker pish" and I know well enough to know not to let it turn into screaming and crying. I don't want to reward bad behavior you know. I break down and open a bag of crackers and we are both happy as we continue our shopping trip.
There are two kinds of cashiers in this world. Those with children and those without. Those with children give me a knowing smile as they ring up the open, half eaten bag of goldfish. Those without give a not so discrete look saying "Lady if those spill on the floor it is all you cleaning it up."
A few months ago our pediatrician suggested we remove all crackers and snacks from Ashlyn's diet to try to get her to increase her intake at meals and gain weight. Is SHE CRAZY??? She says she has 4 kids... so maybe that's it... they have either totally pushed her over the edge or mommy brain has allowed her to forget what life with a toddler is like! What does she expect me to feed my child? She's going to waste away to nothing!
We did ok for the first day. All of the crackers were gotten rid of in the house and after a little withdrawl and bribery we were finally breathing easier. We can do this! Then came the first trip out... try to keep a toddler away from crackers and the will pop up everywhere! Places that don't even sell food... sell crackers!!! Menards (like a Home Depot or Lowe's for my FL friends) sells goldfish crackers! Seriously... who goes to buy a lawn mower and thinks... I better stock up on carbs to get me through this job?!? I've decided it's because I am SUPPOSED to give my child these treats to get through day to day life with my sanity and the sanity of those around us.
The last bag of open goldfish crackers I brought home, I started to hide in the back of the cabinet. I am trying to pretend to be super mom and didn't want my husband to see I, SUPER MOM, resort to carbohydrate bribery with our child. As I did though I saw a bag back there already... Hmmm... so I asked my husband about it and he admitted sheepishly that he had bought them recently to get through a trip to the grocery store! I never thought a bag of goldfish crackers could make me feel closer to him but it was just another reminder that we are in this together!