Thursday, January 17, 2013

It's not over when they're potty trained

I owe you guys this story... I promised it a month ago... Since it has happened AGAIN (this time not to me... I've learned my lesson) I guess I better share it so that nobody who ever goes to the bathroom with my child falls victim to this scheme... It was Bear's 4th birthday. After her party was over and her friends had left we decided to keep with tradition and take her out to eat. Her only request was a grilled cheese. We didn't want to go far and risk the girls falling asleep during the tempting dusky evening hours and being up all night. Why we decided to go out to eat when the kids were hopped up on sugar and party excitement is beyond me in retrospect. The first thing Bees did was dump Erik's drink all over her lap. Of course since we were running out of the house to get them in the car and to the restaurant so they didn't fall asleep on the way, I didn't check the diaper bag and we did not have a spare change of clothes... So I spent ten minutes hanging the baby under the hand dryer. Of course this was the ONE TIME Erik ordered Pepsi instead of water at a restaurant so even though I got her pretty dry she was a hot mess. I debated running across the street and getting her a new outfit but since everyone in the restaurant already knew we were "that family" I figured why bother! Right as the waitress brought our food out, Bear shouted she needed to go to the bathroom. She couldn't go for the 20 minutes I was in there with Bees... she needed to go right as my sizzling hot fajitas were delivered... Awesome. So we headed back to the bathroom. On a side note why is Chili's open kitchen right by the bathroom? Do you know how distracting this is for my kids? Of course they want to go to the bathroom 20 times while we are eating dinner. We finally get away from the kitchen and into the bathroom. Bear has been on a kick that she can go in the stall by herself so I let her. I know there is no use fighting it. She has never locked the door before and I stand right there and hold it. She shouts for me to come in to help her wipe. I try the door... it's locked... I tell her to unlock it and she says she can't because she has a poopy butt. So I tell her to wipe and come unlock but she insists she can't wipe if it's poopy. I tell her that I can't get in because she locks the door. We go back and forth for 10 minutes about how to get the door unlocked and she refuses to budge from the toilet. I had no choice... I had to army crawl under the stall at CHILI's. How disgusting is that... Seriously?! When I signed up to be a parent I knew I would have to do some gross stuff but army crawling into a stall in Chili's was by far the grossest thing I have ever done! I get her wiped, she hops down, unlocks the door and runs to wash her hands. I scrub my body as much as possible at a public bathroom sink and finally 20 minutes later we head back to the table. At this point the fajitas are cold which is fine because my appetite is gone. As I finish telling the story to hubby.. (Sorry you waited for me to eat honey because I know your appetite was gone after that story too) Bear looks at me and says "Mommy do you miss three?" It took a minute to register but I really hoped this wasn't a sign of the tribulations of Bear year 4... Unfortunately for my sister she pulled the same trick in the bathroom of Red Lobster last week. It was a lot funnier when it happened to someone else but seriously she had already had the talk about not locking the stall if you can't unlock it so I'm afraid to say she did this one to her aunt on purpose. Welcome to 4 everyone.