Saturday, October 2, 2010

Let's get real...

Lately I have been trying to take note of different things about my personality... A co-worker at my last job commented on something that bothered her and ever since then it has opened my eyes to some of the other things that probably bother people too... I've tried to work on them but they are quirks of me that I think that have been there a long time. So here are a few things I've noticed about myself lately starting with the one that bothered my co-worker...

1) I talk to myself... Alot... when I work I am constantly talking my way through it. I also make little not just for fun or a tick, but repeating phonemes and sound errors. I would imagine it could sound like a tick to someone who isn't a SLP. I shared an office with 5 other girls last year. Our desks were all up against each other in a little pod, elementary classroom style. Can you imagine how much more annoying writing an IEP would be if I am sitting there talking through a kid's sound errors to myself as I write goals? "hmm OK hab and fibe OK b for v. affricates no too young for th. plurals, possessives, mom seemed nice though..." Nobody ever has any idea if I'm talking to them, talking to myself, or just trying to annoy them. Thank goodness I have my own office at my new job!

2) I repeat things in conversation. It's like I don't think people got it the first time so I rephrase everything I say. I can't believe nobody has ever called me on this. It annoys the CRAP out of me that I do it. Unfortunately I always catch myself just after the 2nd restatement. I am working really hard on this one. I think it goes back to me being a childhood overachiever who needed confirmation that everything I did/said was perfect.

3) This one you probably already know since you read my blog... I am TERRIBLE at punctuation. I don't know how to use it. In elementary school I took gifted classes (a way to keep me from being bored and annoying my teachers) and in my school they pulled you out during language arts. And since we were so "advanced" they never worked on the basics with us just went write into deep thoughts and foreign language, LOL! So now I just put lots of ....'s and !!!'s and it gives my writing more personality (that's what I tell myself). My Clinical Fellow (CF) Supervisor was a former English major and she had a field day with my reports last year. I am very nervous to do it on my own this year. I wonder if I could pay her to edit them for punctuation? I considered at my interview when they asked "What are some of your weaknesses?" to tell them I am terrible at punctuation but I went with the standard I take too much home with me at night. This is always a good one if you work with children, especially children with special needs, because the truth is... If you work with this population, and you don't take things to heart and home with you... you're probably in the wrong field.

4) Although I volunteer for everything I can, and joined no less than 15 clubs in high school, I am actually more introverted than extroverted. I get so involved because I am afraid if I am not at something I will be the one they talk about. Everyone will finally express how annoying it is to work next to me or have a conversation with, and I will be outcast forever! Also if I constantly do nice things and volunteer, people will feel bad talking about me. Sad huh? Probably shouldn't have gone into a career that is dominated by women.

So that's it for today. Now you will probably never be able to read my blog again due to lack of punctuation or hold a conversation with me due to repetition but I've put a little more out there and that's what this blog is all about. What "weird" things are you aware of about yourself?


  1. I TOTALLY talk to myself all the time, too. Oftentimes, taking a quick look around after the fact to make sure no one heard

    I am horrible about interrupting others while they are talking. Not sure why I do it...Gotta work on active listening, I guess?

    I HATE when I make a mistake and I know it. I own it and take responsibility, but it is so unnerving to me. I apologize a bit too much when I do...especially at work.

  2. Oh Ann, I love you! I think it is so awesome when people can see things they need to work on and are willing to. I find people who think they are perfect very frustrating. :)

    Here are SOME of mine:

    1. I am very easily distracted. I cannot multi-task. If you are talking to me and I'm watching TV or on the computer I am probably not comprehending what you are telling me. This makes being a Mom very hard sometimes!

    2.I grew up with some critical people around me and really struggle with always feeling like I have to be good enough or do the right things to be loved. I've realized that I find myself expecting certain things from people and not showing unconditional love.

    3.I talk to myself too, but do it under my breath and that frustrates people more b/c they don't know what I'm saying.

    4. I am also pretty introverted but always felt like I needed to be more extroverted. In middle school I was accused of being a snob and it hurt my feelings so bad. That was the worst thing I could've been called. People just didn't realize that I was terminally shy and insecure. Like you, I often find myself overcompensating by doing way too much. I've really been working on that one. :)

    5.When I get nervous I talk too much. Not good for a preacher's wife!!!! :)

    There is something really freeing about recognizing the things you need to work on, don't you think? I would much rather people just tell me what I do that annoys them than talk about me to other people or suffer with putting up with me.