Wouldn't it figure...

I can't remember the last time I rocked my child to sleep... It has been a rough few nights... She fell asleep earlier but woke up screaming and crying in a way I have never heard before. It sounded like what I imagine a coyote caught in a foothold trap would sound like. It was HORRIBLE! It would figure that right when two year molars enter into the picture the only teething relief we have ever found for Ashlyn would be recalled. I honestly can't imagine what life would have been like without Hyland's teething tablets when Ashlyn was teething before... and if tonight was any indication of what two year molars will be like, I don't know if we will survive the next 4 teeth coming in. Please pray for us... it's going to be another rough night...

Finishing things!

If you remember my very first blog post told you about my inability to finish projects. I have closets of materials for projects I was so excited about but never started/finished. This weekend I decided to start tackling some of them...at least the things that are still relevant (as excited as I was about the zoo animals I was going to paint they no longer fit in her room since Princesses are whats cool these days). So this weekend I caught up on some scrapbooking and started making hairbows ...well attempting to make hairbows... I have a long way to go and if anyone has any suggestions I'd love to make fancier ones. Here are some of my finished products! I feel so productive!


kit is Apple-licious by Just So Scrappy






another Just so Scrappy kit... Happy Fall Ya'll (she is the best designer and her kits are only 1.50!!! Check her out at her blog )

Teen Mom...

Ok so I am a little behind and am just now starting to watch Season 1 of Teen Mom. This show makes my heart so heavy and I can't watch it without crying at least a little.
I feel so bad for these girls, their families, and their children. I think about being a teenager and it was HARD. I would NEVER want to do it again. I think about being a mom and it is HARD but it is amazing and miraculous and life changing and I'd do it over in a heartbeat. My daughter makes me happier than anything in the world. I have never said the words "This is just one more thing I will have to give up because I'm a mom or because of Ashlyn." Anything that I no longer do is worth it 100 times over because I have this little person in my life. Yet I hear this phrase over and over on the show.
I think of where I was when I was their age... I think of what my life would have been like if I were in their shoes... I think it would be similiar to or worse than all 4 of those girls. At that time I didn't have the relationship I do now with my parents. Not that my parents were different, but I wasn't at a point to realize all that they do for me every day. I look at the relationship I was in and holy cow would it have been worse... I look at all the dreams that would have been put on hold...

Now I look at where I was when I got pregnant... my mother lived right down the street and would come over at the drop of a hat... and now that I live across the country all I have to do is tell her I need her and she books a plane ticket (OK it has to be more serious than we are out of milk but still). My husband... what can I say about him except I couldn't do it without him... and the majority of my dreams had been realized or at least started by the time my daughter came.
I can't help but grieve for these girls and boys who are dealing with one of the most important yet hardest jobs any of us will ever have. I grieve for them because they are not getting the experience of parenthood I have. I grieve for them because they are learning so many lessons all at once that most people learn over many years... I grieve for them because they feel that everything they can no longer do is "just one more thing I HAVE to give up because I'm a teen parent." It just makes me so sad.

Not sweating the small stuff...

My child will not die from eating ketchup (and only ketchup) for dinner...
My child won't be the stinky kid just for wearing the same jammies 2...ok, maybe 3 nights in a row...
My child will not go to high school with a pacifier...
My child's college roommates will not have to hold her down to get her to brush her teeth...
My child will not eat with her fingers at her wedding reception...

Clearly you can tell what some of my irrational mom fears are :o) I am really trying to just enjoy this fun stage Ashlyn is in because I know it will pass us by too quickly. I listen to her talking in toddler sentences... telling me what she likes and doesn't like... insisting on wearing what she wants to wear when she wants to wear it and I realize I already have a mini-teenager... I started singing a song I didn't think she had ever heard and she started doing the motions and singing along... I am no longer the one that gives her all her information about the world... She is taking it all in everywhere she is... her teachers at school teach her new songs that are now her favorite. I didn't realize I would already be letting go little pieces of my baby so soon. She just cried and screamed to go with my sister back to the city with no mommy... She is already such a big independent girl!
At least at night as she sleeps she is still my little baby...
Even if she is a little stinky...

We don't have to be perfect...

I think as moms we all feel like we have to be perfect. There are so many pressures on us... breastfeed for a year... make your own baby food (and with organic ingredients as well)... buy all natural toys and make sure NOTHING is from China... search all the labels of every product for parabens, BPA, lead, etc... run to Gymboree... make your own Halloween costumes... make sure your child is learning every second... keep yourself presentable... be a good wife... be a good daughter/sister/aunt/mom/etc... Something has to give! Just remember when you look at the other Superwomen around you something has given in their lives... So if they constantly have beautiful scrapbook pages and pictures on facebook of all their adventures and you hear of all the wonderful things their child is doing... I guarantee you that family had Taco Bell for dinner and god forbid the toddler went to bed without her teeth brushed... AGAIN... I know so many supermoms that are all awesome at different things and let me tell you I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that I rock too...
So to my friend that bakes her own bread, makes her own baby food, works a full time job educating our youth, and goes to grad school... I admire you...
To my friend that is a mother to two (an infant and a just 1 year old), who owns her own amazing photography business, and writes a daily blog, all while being super rad... I admire you...
To my friend who is a preachers wife... who home-schooled 2 kids with a toddler running around... who is dancing again (and teaching dance) after having the before mentioned 3 children and taking a "few" years off... who has dealt with more stress and sadness in the last few years than anyone should have to... who shares these things on her blog with an honesty that has allowed me to get closer to her and relate to her despite the miles and differences in our lives... I admire you...
To my friend who has 2 under 2 (or close)... who had both of those babies during graduate school... who is doing a full time internship with so many challenges... who has an awesome husband who is in medical school so she is often on her own...who is raising little genius babies, who despite everything on her plate does things like organize meals for weeks when you just had a baby (I will never forget this!)... I admire you...
I could go on and on... Every mother I know is amazing... I wish I could take pieces of each of you and create the ultimate mom for Ashlyn... but just knowing you all and being your friend is enough! So next time you are getting down on yourself really look at all the amazing things you are doing... if you can't come up with enough to bring you out of a funk... call me... facebook me... email me... I will tell you all the things I love about you!

Sale on Tag and Tag Jr. Books

Wanted to let everyone know about another great deal on Tag and Tag Jr. Books. Target has them on sale for $10 dollars until the 23rd. Here is a link for $4 off any Tag book over $10. This makes the books $6 each. Not AS great as the Toys R Us deal from a few weeks ago but still a good deal! Makes each book cost the same as any other children's book and these are interactive and fun! I can't wait to give my daughter the books I've stocked up on for Christmas! Hope this helps someone else with their Christmas shopping!

How to get rid of the pacifier without even trying!

As I'm sure you know, we have been battling the pacifier for a while now... Trying out different ways to get rid of it... While I know the best thing to do is to pick one method and really commit to it, I revealed on my first first blog post that I never stick to ANYTHING! So not only does my child still have a "pah pah" (as they are called in my house) but she now wants to walk around with two at all times. If you don't believe me check out the picture I took on the way home yesterday...


A couple of weeks ago we decided to start snipping the tips of her pacifiers. She was NOT happy about this and would just throw them at us and scream. I don't know if it is just a coincidence but the TERRIBLE TWO's emerged on the very same day I made the first snip and have not disappeared. My father-in-law just left today and I really wanted him to enjoy his time with his youngest grandchild. None of my husband's family has seen her since her first birthday 10 months ago and I didn't want him to go back to Florida and tell them we are raising the spawn of Satan. So we gave in and let her have a normal pacifier back. That turned into Poppy going on a shopping trip to buy her even more pacifiers, and now she has an entire arsenal again.
You can imagine how surprised I was when it was bedtime tonight and I asked her if she wanted her "pah pah" and she said "NO!" I was about to jump for joy and announce to the whole world that my darling angel had given up her pacifier all on her own... when her finger went straight up her nose and then into her mouth. Yep for all of you mothers who want to break their children of the pacifier just let them spend the day with a nose-picker/booger-eater... It works like magic...
Now I'm off to research how to stop nose picking! Any suggestions?

P.S. She is really going to hate me for this one someday :o)

A Contest to Remember

One of my friends Rebekah Hood writes a wonderful blog I stalk www.imaradmom.com Prior to this blog I stalked her photography blog www.kallimaphotography.com. I have been a client of Rebekah's 5 times! I just love her photography. She did our engagement pictures, wedding pictures, some pictures as a gift to my husband for our wedding, maternity pictures, and 3 generation pictures when Ash was just 6 weeks old.

Her blog yesterday was a contest challenging us to celebrate our little ones in honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance day. Being a fantastic photographer of course her challenge is to submit a picture showing how blessed you feel for what God has given you. It's still open until tomorrow night so go check her out!
This past year has been a very hard year for one of my dear friends. I can't imagine the pain she has gone through losing a baby before even meeting it... much less two. I love you and I think of all the pain you have gone through and wish I could carry some of it's weight.
So today here is how I took to heart Rebekah's challenge. We were in the city watching FSU football... Ash was bored and wanted to go for a walk. So instead of rushing her out and back in as quick as I could, we wandered the neighborhoods around the restaurant. We walked up and down the streets looking for choo-choos, airplanes, red cars, and blue bikes... we stopped to pet dogs... and drink chocolate milk... we picked up leaves and threw them to the wind... we bought a little pumpkin... we met a police officer and looked at her car... and we laughed... For this first walk I even left my camera in the restaurant. I have been "accused" of living behind my camera and not really participating because I'm always trying to get a great picture... I say I don't ever want to forget a moment so I want it all documented... Even though I didn't have the camera I don't think I will forget any of these moments we created today... It was magical. We did wander back to the restaurant and I couldn't resist grabbing the camera as we headed back out to walk again. So I did get a few shots of the day to show you...


Shuffling through the leaves... So much fun!

Throwing leaves!

Does that say happy or what? We had such a great time!!! Thanks Rebekah for opening my eyes to all the little pleasures of my little one!

and of course a day wouldn't be complete without a new scrapbook page! This was done using Just So Scrappy's It's Fall Ya'll kit.

Great New Products!

Since this blog is all about helping out other moms/parents/friends... I thought I would share with you 2 of my favorite new products! Of course I don't work for either of these companies but I just love them so I had to share!

One of the best gifts I received at a baby shower was from one of my best friends, college roommate and one awesome mom! She got me a huge tub of Oxyclean Baby. This stuff is even better than regular Oxyclean. We couldn't buy it where we lived, in the big tubs so she would bring me some whenever she came to visit. I would soak Ashlyn's stained baby clothes and always got the stains out. I didn't just stop there... I used it for all of our clothes. It gets out everything! Something about the baby version is magic! Recently I came across the spray version. I was skeptical but decided to try it since it was a quarter of the cost and seemed easier. This stuff is AMAZING! It even takes out long set in stains! I bought Ashlyn an adorable outfit from a resale but later realized it was stained. Sprayed it with this, let it sit a little while, and the stains were GONE! I've used it for every kind of stain and it has taken them all out! So I give 5 stars to Oxyclean Baby in the spray bottle.


The second product is just as wonderful. It is the new Carmex lotion. I grew up in Alaska where Carmex was a winter staple. It is rich and creamy and soaks right into your skin leaving it nice and soft. The best part though is the smell. It smells like my childhood... a mixture of a Cabbage Patch Kid and a hint of Carmex!!! I can't help but smile all day when I smell it. So if you see it I highly recommend picking up some!!!



Have you tried either of these? Any products you recommend I check out???

A Child's Book of Prayers...

My daughter brought this book over to me last night... already turned to the page she wanted me to read. I turned it to the first page and she turned back to the page she wanted and pointed to it... Ok... so I read it to her...

"O God, make us children of quietness and heirs of peace. Amen - St. Clement."



I kind of laughed to myself. My child who had been up several times the night before screaming her head off. Apparently terrible twos are not limited to day light hours, because my child has decided that 2 am is about the PERFECT time to throw a knock down, drag out temper tantrum about chocolate milk or watching Little Mermaid. She wakes up from a deep sleep to start screaming that she wants these things! And now she is praying to be made quiet and peaceful! So I read it to her... over and over and over... I really hoped that she was such an incredibly smart insightful baby and she really wanted to be quiet and peaceful... give me a break I am incredibly sleep deprived after a week of this...
So as she woke me up again last night kicking, screaming, and scratching me screaming for chocolate milk, I began reciting this prayer under my breath... "O God, make HER a child of quietness and an heir of peace!" Eventually, (and by eventually I mean 45 minutes later) she tired out and then I said "AMEN!"

A Halloween fashion show...

I have already posted how much I love dressing up little people in adorable costumes. This drives my husband crazy but at least I'm thrifty. So far Ashlyn's costumes I have for this year total a grand total of 15.00. I bought them 2 at after Halloween sales last year and the scarecrow at a resale. My father-in-law is in town and I wanted him to see Ashlyn in her costumes and make sure they fit before all of the fun Halloween functions start. I can just imagine getting all excited about a party and realizing none of her 3 costumes fit! Ash decided she wanted to try them on (with a little enthusiastic coaching from mommy). I just couldn't resist showing you a few of my favorite pics from our fashion show!!!

Little Red Riding Hood... look closely the wolf is sneaking up in the background... or stopping to scratch his butt... use your imagination...

Mommy's little flower! These are my favorite costumes, but I don't understand why they sell them with tights. If you are going to put a costume this thick and warm on your child would you really have thin little tights on their legs? We put a nice fleece outfit underneath and it is great for the coldest of fall days up here! Plus the flower hat is so cozy and warm... Do you think it would be ok if this was her winter hat this year?

I love the little homemade scarecrow and wish I was crafty enough to make something that cute! But we all know me... I would buy the material, get out the sewing machine, get frustrated trying to thread the needle and she'd end up dressing up in a toga like a character from Animal House.


Of course you know that she didn't want to be any of these things, but she humored me and seemed to really enjoy dressing up. What are your little monsters being this year? What was your favorite costume growing up?

A name is not just a name....

When my husband and I first found out we were having a baby, we stared at each other in shock, and hugged, and almost immediately started talking about names. Since we were convinced we were having a boy, and we had picked out a boy name long before we were even married it was a short conversation. At the same time that we were weighing the merits of giving our child a family versus on that was all their own, my parents began thinking of names as well... Not names for our child but names for themselves. My father in law has 16 grandkids including our daughter so he has been "Poppy" for many many years. My mother in law is "Grammy" But for my parents this was a monumental first! My mom stated that she is NOT a nana, and would like to be just grandma. My dad also decided he would be grandpa. My grandparents were always Grandma and Grandpa with their last names at the end. Well guess what... picking a name is not always so easy. Our little Kyle dreams were changed when we discovered we were having a girl! A girl!?! We were not prepared for this. Every old wives tale said Boy. We even bought one of those Intelligender Tests and it said Boy! It took quite a while and systematically crossing off each others picks before we finally decided on a name. My parents have found that they also did not really get to decide what they would be called. My mom realized that Grandma is really too difficult for a toddler and decided it would be cool to shorten her name to "g-ma". Just like in 4th grade, when I decided that everyone who has ever known me should now refer to me as Josie, "g-ma" did not stick. My parents have now learned that you do not choose what your grandchildren call you. Your grandchildren name you. My mother is now "gram gram" and my dad is "Papa". After 15 children calling my father in law "Poppy" my daughter has invented her own name and calls him "Pop Pop." I'm already preparing myself for when she decides she doesn't want to be Ashlyn anymore and instead wants to be called something along the lines of Rainbow Sprinkles (which was in fact a suggestion from a niece when we were looking for names).

Wake up call...

Wow... I just had a heart stopping, take your breath away, stop and immediately pray moment... I had just gotten home from work with Ashlyn, and was trying to figure out how to deal with the dirty dog that had rolled in mud before work... my husband locked him in his crate because he didn't have time to deal with him and forgot to mention it to me. So as I stared at the dog, Ashlyn wandered off to play. She is allowed to play just about anywhere in the house. We have baby proofed it and she plays nicely by herself. We usually keep the bathroom doors shut. After I got over the shock, I decided I was going to have to wash the dog right away and walked to Ashlyn's bathroom across the hall from her room... and then I noticed... and my heart stopped.
Rewind to last night... daddy gave Ashlyn her bath. It was a crazy night because my sister was over as well. Ashlyn asked to sit on the potty after her bath (didn't do anything on it but we spent a long time sitting there). Then she got new jammies and that is always exciting. Finally my sister left, the commotion died down and Ashlyn went to bed.
Ok fast forward... I walked down the hallway and saw the bathroom door wide open... and in the bathroom was a FULL bath. Toys still floating from last nights bath. With the commotion of the evening nobody drained the tub. Ashlyn was playing nicely, and fortunately she was in her room 10 feet away from the bathroom. But she had been playing for a good 5 minutes very quietly before I walked back that way.
This was such a wake up call to me. You can do all the baby proofing you want but it can be the simplest mistake that can change your whole life! I drained the tub, gave her a big hug, and then said a prayer thanking God for watching out for us.
Prior to this blog, I would have kept this quiet out of fear of being judged a bad mother. Maybe not even told my own family (not that they would judge). But I have promised myself that I will share the ups and downs of parenthood with my readers in the hopes that someone else will read it and say oh man I'm not the only one who has done __________, or in the hopes that it is also a wake up call to someone else... So there it is my crappy parenting of the week award...

Halloween

I love dressing up for Halloween... I love coming up with the most creative costume and pulling all the pieces together to execute it perfectly! Last year one of my daughters costumes was a cow-duck. I know what is a cow-duck? When my husband was a child my father-in-law used to tell a story about the cow-duck. So in honor of him we made her a hybrid farm animal. She was 10 months old... she had no idea... It actually worked out really well because we put a warm fleece cow costume under a warm duck costume and that was her costume when it got really cold. Plus if it warmed up we could just take off the duck and she was still a little cow. We took her to boo at the zoo and got some interesting interpretations of what she was. We decided to not put her in the costume contest because the other kids didn't have a chance. :o)
She had 5 costumes last year... partly because I couldn't resist every time I saw a cute costume... partly because I didn't want to put a jacket over so I had a costume for every weather change... and partly because I was warned that my time of picking out her costume was very limited. My friend Melissa's son REFUSED to wear the costume she picked out for him when he was about 2 and insisted he be Handy Manny. My daughter is not yet 2 so I figured I had another year before I had to deal with this reality. Last season after Halloween, I bought a few costumes on sale. Look at me being frugal!!! Last night while watching Barney, Ashlyn called me in to fast forward it because she was scared of the wolf on the Little Red Riding Hood skit. Awesome... one of those great finds was of course... Little Red Riding Hood! How much do you think it would traumatize her to wear it still???
So we were talking to Ashlyn the other night and thought we should start prepping her for dressing up. We asked her "What do you want to dress up as for Halloween a flower, little red riding hood, or a scarecrow (some of my budget finds)". Ashlyn's answer... "No, I Elmo!" WHAT!?! My 21 month old not only knows what dressing up for Halloween means... but also has an opinion on what she wants to be... Then she decided later she wanted to be Minnie Mouse (she saw a Minnie costume in the store) because now she wants daddy to be Elmo. Then of course my husband asked "Well what should mommy be?" And my sweet daughter answered "Bar Bar!" What about a GIANT PURPLE DINOSAUR says Mommy to my child??? Really???

Getting older...

Getting older... Growing up... whatever you want to call it... It has been breaking my heart lately... taking my breath away.

My 30th birthday is quickly approaching... in 8 days to be exact... At 25 I had a little "quarter life crisis". I was NOWHERE near where I wanted to be at 25. I didn't have a successful career, loving husband, bouncing baby, colonial house with a white picket fence... I was waiting tables, and while I did have an amazing boyfriend he didn't even want to TALK about marriage. Fortunately this little crisis helped push me into going back to school for my masters degree. Jump ahead 5 years... I have been married for 3 years, I have a beautiful almost 2 year old... I have my Masters and my CCC's (meaning I am officially a speech language pathologist)... I do not have my white picket fence but we are renting a beautiful house just outside our favorite city in the world. I have never been happier than I am at 30. I love my job, my husband, and my child. I am at a peace with myself that I have never been... I think a lot of it stems from the mindfulness taught to me by the lovely Dr. Lisa Scott. I have truly become a more positive happy person. I think that if you can get past the wild days of life with a toddler, and watch them discover the world it makes you a better person. I love being a wife and mom... OK so I may not be perfect at either of them (my house is an absolute disaster right now and my child is watching a DVD so I can find time to blog) but I love being a wife and mom.

So clearly it is not my ageing that is bothering me so much. I can't tell you how many times this week I have been told "Wow Ashlyn is so big! She's not a baby anymore! She's a kid!" I smile and comment on how big she is but it wasn't until a couple of nights ago that it REALLY hit me. When she is sick I always go out to the couch with her. We have fine tuned the art of how to lay to make her fall asleep and feel better. It always worked like a charm... until Thursday night. She didn't fit... My sweet little girl didn't fit in my arms anymore... not like she used to. She just couldn't get comfortable... Her legs were too long, her head hit too high on my chest, her arms dangled. And it hit me that she is no longer a baby... she really is becoming a little girl... She wears pigtails... she told me what she wanted to be for Halloween (and then what her father and I should be too)...she has real opinions...and she no longer comfortably fits in my arms when she's sick...and that is a much tougher pill to swallow than turning 30... I have a feeling I won't mind the rest of my birthdays as much as I mind each of hers...

Ashlyn and I
December 2009

Let's get real...

Lately I have been trying to take note of different things about my personality... A co-worker at my last job commented on something that bothered her and ever since then it has opened my eyes to some of the other things that probably bother people too... I've tried to work on them but they are quirks of me that I think that have been there a long time. So here are a few things I've noticed about myself lately starting with the one that bothered my co-worker...

1) I talk to myself... Alot... when I work I am constantly talking my way through it. I also make little noises...no not just for fun or a tick, but repeating phonemes and sound errors. I would imagine it could sound like a tick to someone who isn't a SLP. I shared an office with 5 other girls last year. Our desks were all up against each other in a little pod, elementary classroom style. Can you imagine how much more annoying writing an IEP would be if I am sitting there talking through a kid's sound errors to myself as I write goals? "hmm OK hab and fibe OK b for v. affricates no too young for th. plurals, possessives, mom seemed nice though..." Nobody ever has any idea if I'm talking to them, talking to myself, or just trying to annoy them. Thank goodness I have my own office at my new job!

2) I repeat things in conversation. It's like I don't think people got it the first time so I rephrase everything I say. I can't believe nobody has ever called me on this. It annoys the CRAP out of me that I do it. Unfortunately I always catch myself just after the 2nd restatement. I am working really hard on this one. I think it goes back to me being a childhood overachiever who needed confirmation that everything I did/said was perfect.

3) This one you probably already know since you read my blog... I am TERRIBLE at punctuation. I don't know how to use it. In elementary school I took gifted classes (a way to keep me from being bored and annoying my teachers) and in my school they pulled you out during language arts. And since we were so "advanced" they never worked on the basics with us just went write into deep thoughts and foreign language, LOL! So now I just put lots of ....'s and !!!'s and it gives my writing more personality (that's what I tell myself). My Clinical Fellow (CF) Supervisor was a former English major and she had a field day with my reports last year. I am very nervous to do it on my own this year. I wonder if I could pay her to edit them for punctuation? I considered at my interview when they asked "What are some of your weaknesses?" to tell them I am terrible at punctuation but I went with the standard I take too much home with me at night. This is always a good one if you work with children, especially children with special needs, because the truth is... If you work with this population, and you don't take things to heart and home with you... you're probably in the wrong field.

4) Although I volunteer for everything I can, and joined no less than 15 clubs in high school, I am actually more introverted than extroverted. I get so involved because I am afraid if I am not at something I will be the one they talk about. Everyone will finally express how annoying it is to work next to me or have a conversation with, and I will be outcast forever! Also if I constantly do nice things and volunteer, people will feel bad talking about me. Sad huh? Probably shouldn't have gone into a career that is dominated by women.

So that's it for today. Now you will probably never be able to read my blog again due to lack of punctuation or hold a conversation with me due to repetition but I've put a little more out there and that's what this blog is all about. What "weird" things are you aware of about yourself?