My most disgusting parenting moment to date...

Ok I think I am finally ready to admit what happened on Monday... I really debated posting this for all to see but #1) I swore I would share my good and bad mom moments on here... #2) Just google it... clearly it happens to alot of people... #3) It's just plain funny...
So back in college when I met my husband on the very first time I visited his apartment... I discovered that NEITHER bathroom had ANY toilet paper... ok first of all how gross... 4 men lived in that house... ok I don't want to get into that... so I went out to my car and got each of them a 4 pack of toilet paper out of the trunk. A week or so later he needed to write a thank-you note... so we went out to my car and I got him a handful of thank-you notes... never fail if you need something it's probably somewhere in my car... I'm not going to pretend that i have cute little organized baskets (ohhhh good idea!!! we know I love baskets) with all these goodies alphabetized... no they are just SOMEWHERE in my car. My husband later discovered that I am not Mary Poppins with a bottomless bag... I am just lazy... I have digressed... I can now say I've found something new in my car...
Anyone who has kids knows what their carseats look like once they hit the fruit snacks and goldfish stage... There is nothing like having to pull the carseat out to fit an extra passenger (and its always someone who doesn't have kids and is appalled)to find a months (or lets be real 6+ months) worth of goldfish crackers, fruit snacks, and various other foods that you can't even remember the last time your child ate... under the seat.
So two weeks or so ago I noticed that where Bear's seatbelt goes into her car seat was a little frayed... I thought she must be pulling on it... it is an old car seat so it's seen better days... Then on Monday when I went out it was no longer a little frayed... it was a hole.. weird... I still didn't think much more of it... but as I was driving to work I felt a little sick.. I reached for one of my crackers (in a sealed zip lock bag) but there were no crackers and a hole in the side of the bag... OH MY GOD... As I almost flew past a school bus I began to put it all together... My child is sitting in a car seat... that a MOUSE IS LIVING IN!!! I almost wrecked and threw up all at once! I rushed her into school and drove to work watching the backseat the whole way sure he was going to come out to finish off her breakfast with me sitting right there! I moved a few things around and sure enough there were a couple of droppings... Ok just a few... thats good... He must not actually live in there but just comes in when its cold. On my lunch break I ran home to clean out all the papers and toys in my car... As I started moving things I found a few more droppings and I decided the car seat had to come out... I would leave it on the driveway and hope the mouse emerged during the day...
Of course this was the ONE time we were ever able to get the carseat in the car tight enough. I pulled and pushed and tugged but that car seat was way too tight... I also didn't really want to put my hand too close to the latch bars because I had already determined that was how the mouse got in (through the trunk, through the seat where it folds down by the seat belt) Totally fed up, frozen (this was the day we woke up to snow... in mid-April), and a little insane... I went inside and got the scissors and cut the carseat out of the car!!! I expected to find the usual mess under the carseat... I mean how could the mouse get under that thing??? But no... there were no crackers... not even crumbs... just a whole ton of mouse droppings... This was seriously the most ridiculous moment so far in my parenting life!!! I only had 20 min left of my lunch break... I had to make a decision... go buy a new car seat or go put my car in drive and let it roll into Lake Michigan.. As much as I wanted to roll it off a cliff... I ran out and bought a brand new carseat... stuffed every hole in my car with peppermint soaked cotton balls (mice hate peppermint)... and went back to work... I can safely say that now 3 days later with the car cleaned out I have seen no evidence that the mouse is still in the car... The cut out carseat is still in the driveway... maybe a whole family of mice has taken up residence in it now... At least I know all those snacks didn't go to waste and I kept a living creature alive throughout the brutal winter!!!
There you have it... officially my most disgusting parenting moment to date!

PS I can't even read back through this to check if it makes sense.. it makes me gag just thinking about it....
PSS To make the evening even worse after running out to find out the store I needed to go to had closed down... I got pulled over for an expired tag... Totally not my day!

Gender Part 2

I am one of the most impatient people in the world.. Every year my husband ends up getting his big Christmas present early for his birthday (Nov. 25th) and I am running back out to buy another better present before Christmas (which he usually gets no later than Christmas Eve)... So when it comes to finding out the gender of my children I am incredibly impatient... I can't do anything else until I find out... No shopping, no real naming... annoying!
With Bear, we were CONVINCED she was a boy. The Chinese Gender chart said boy, all the old wives tales said boy, we even spent 34.95 on an Intelligender test that of course said BOY!!! Of course when we went for our gender check it was clear as day... GIRL! And now we have a beautiful girly girly girl!
This time around many things are opposite. For example... They say that "Little girls steal your beauty" but when I was pregnant with Bear I felt radiant... My skin was awesome, my hair was thick, I just felt beautiful. This time around my hair is a mess, my skin is breaking out like I'm 15 years old and work at a fast food restaurant...I feel GROSS! So does that mean I'm having a boy or that I'm going to give birth to the most beautiful little girl in the world? I mean if I felt that beautiful pregnant with Bear and she is as beautiful as she is... this one would have to be gorgeous!
The Chinese Gender Chart says boy again... we know how that turned out last time...
Bear's heart rate was always around 135 which should be a boy... The baby's heart rate is usually around 160+ which should be a girl...
I craved pizza, chips, buffalo sauce, etc with Bear... Salty and Sour things mean boy...
This time around I crave chocolate and sweets... cupcakes, brownies, popsicles, but also lemonade... besides the lemonade (which makes me sick EVERY time I drink it) that all sounds like a girl...
Mayan legend says if you look at mom's age at conception and the year of conception if they are both even or odd its a girl if they are opposite its a boy... That would again make Bear a boy... and this baby... a girl...
Morning sickness... a lot for a long time indicates girl... very little or only for a short time.. boy... With Bear I was only sick in the evenings and it was only for maybe 3 weeks...meaning boy... This baby... sick all day long for at least 5 weeks so far... so does that mean girl again???
Evidence-Prediction
Bear
Chinese Gender Chart- Boy
Mayan Legend- Boy
Nausea- Boy
Cravings- Boy
Beauty- Boy
Heartbeat- Boy
Intelligender- Boy

Baby 2
Chinese Gender Chart- Boy
Mayan Legend- Girl
Nausea- Girl?
Cravings- Girl
Beauty- Girl
Heartbeat- Girl
Intelligender- Not wasting the money



So here's all the evidence folks.. What do you think... will we follow the same pattern of everything being opposite and we have a little boy on the way... or do we go with that being a fluke and we have another beautiful little girl coming??? Take your vote over on the right!!


P.S. Anyone else have any experience with these "gender predictors?" right or wrong for you?

Gender...

Here's how the typical conversation has gone since we've found out we're expecting...
Me: Guess what! Another baby is on the way!
Co-worker, Family Member, friend, landlord, random stranger (take your pick) Asks one of 3 questions.. It is ALWAYS one of these three questions:
1) What are you having?
2)Are you going to find out what your having?
3) When do you find out what your having?

This totally threw me. Even my in-laws didn't ask the question I always think is most important to ask first... "When are you due?" OR "How far along are you?" To me this is the most important first question because I can quickly determine lots of information to lead me to the next question. For example. If she says "7 weeks" I know she is puking several times a day (or wishing she could), I know that she has NO idea what she is having yet but I can quickly figure out about when she will know what gender the baby is, I know how soon I can start shopping for baby gifts and planning showers (my fav. part!).
The second question, "Are you going to find out?" always SUPER throws me. I have trouble imagining why anyone doesn't find out (unless you are my friend Rosemary who has 2 children under 3, 1 of each gender and doesn't need to shop or sell)...
Most people who are do not find out say its because they want to be surprised...
I feel that the day your child is born is a big enough surprise... How long is it going to take? Who are they going to look like? What is their personality (yes a newborn does have a personality of sorts)... There are so many surprises... and just the emotions you feel when you hold your baby for the first time are so surprising because they are so intense. I don't need a surprise that day...
When I need a surprise is 1/2 way through... when it is dragging on and if one more person asks "Do you know what your having?" you know you'll just snap. I am an impatient person so finding out what I'm having is truly the highlight of the pregnancy. The second reason I like to find out is that I think it really helps you bond with your baby. It makes it more real. I think this is especially true for the fathers. Whats nice is that right around this time is when the kicking and other bond-forming moments start. Its so much easier to bond with your child when you can really begin visualizing what your life will be like... will it be pink or blue... trucks or dolls? And once you've named your child... ahhhh... I love that!
Back to visualizing your life... Now you can SHOP!!! The second most fun thing! My husband and I had way more fun registering for our first baby than we did for our wedding!
The second time I need to know more than ever because our house really is covered in pink. It's so hard to go gender neutral. If this baby is a boy we have a lot to sell and alot to buy! If its a girl we get to relax and start unpacking all the adorable outfits that we were lucky if Ashlyn got to wear once!
So yes we will be finding out what the baby is... We should know by mid May if baby cooperates... and I have the cutest way I'm telling everyone! I can't wait!

Denial

My husband told me last night... "It doesn't feel like your really pregnant... not like last time at least..." Clearly he was able to button his pants this morning and did not spend the evening hugging the toilet bowl like it was his 21st birthday...
I totally get it though... Besides those moments that I feel awful (which is before and after every meal and many other times throughout the day) I don't feel like I did when I was pregnant the first time. I've been trying to figure out why that is... I think mostly its denial... not that we don't 100% want this baby. We do.. and have for a long time... We've always talked about wanting two kids and having them about 3 years apart. So far so good... it's all part of the plan. But I think we are in denial for a few reasons...
1) We are scared... We are scared to get excited because we did that and then we thought we lost the baby...
2) We know... the first baby you have these amazing ideals and dreams and you know it will cost money and you know you'll sleep less... but you don't really know... The 2nd one... YOU KNOW... We had just gotten to where we can skip the baby aisle (except diapers... but we're getting close)... there are entire sections of stores we no longer visit... I wandered down one of those aisles in the grocery store today... and realized I'm starting back over... I shouldn't have glanced at formula prices... or baby food.. or Gerber puffs...
3) We are scared... With Ashlyn we've gotten through the fear of SIDS, I can sleep at night without checking to see if she's breathing (well most nights), we've survived (most) of teething... we have to get through all that all over again...
4) and probably most of all... We have Ashlyn... When we were pregnant with her it was all consuming... there was nothing else to think about... now we have this vibrant two year old.. she keeps us busy, she makes us laugh, she amazes us, she is the best thing that's ever happened in our lives... but did I mention she keeps us busy???
and she is the reason WE KNOW... we can do this... as scary as it may be there is nothing better than the smell of a baby... watching them discover, learn, and grow... There is nothing better than family...

Time to share...

I've put off writing this blog for a while... Ever since my difficult pregnancy with Bear every OB I've seen (and I've seen a few) have said "Don't worry at all about your next pregnancy being anything like the first! We will make sure it is smooth and easy..." I always cracked back that "My first pregnancy was hard and my child is perfect... the next one is going to be easy and my 2nd child will be hell on wheels." I guess I am just destined for another sweet child.
I have a theory about OB's that started during my first pregnancy when it was an absolute nightmare. 90% of an OB's job is done for them. The hard part anyway. Nature pretty much takes its course and mom delivers a healthy baby... OB catches it... family writes a big check... life is good. When things go wrong however I think that many OB's just aren't ready for that! Fortunately this time around I think my OB is going to be very proactive. When I told her the details of my first pregnancy she said "Where did you deliver? Uganda? You never should have gone through that..." I hope that her confidence to handle anything that comes up continues.
We have already had our first scare... Probably why I have put off writing on here. Right when I was about to write about being pregnant the world began to crash around us and we felt very deja vu... The difference this time was that 1)We've been through it before... 2)With Bear it started at 29 weeks not 7 weeks 3) We had a 2 year old to worry about now as well.
Friday March 7 I wasn't feeling great but I got Bear to school and went to work. She had been up most of the night and was really cranky when I dropped her off. I headed to my first meeting and as I sat down felt a familiar gush and just knew deep down that it was blood. (Sorry for anyone who doesn't like TMI... As I am now pregnant again I expect there to be alot of it...)
I made it to the bathroom before completely breaking down and my fears were confirmed. I pulled myself together long enough to find a co-worker. Fortunately I had just told my work a couple of days before so everyone went immediately into action mode. They really were amazing. One of my co-workers rushed me to the hospital where Erik met me. Fortunately she was a social worker and knew just what to say so that by the time we got there I was almost laughing and had almost accepted what I was sure they were going to tell me.
As I handed over my insurance card at the ER and choked out that I was 7 weeks pregnant I began to cry again. Hubby put his arm around me but I could see his fear (or helplessness)... I can't imagine what all these scares are like for him. I am so physically invested in the moment... pain, sensations, hormones... he is detached and yet it is his wife and baby at risk... Must be scary though he never gets unraveled.
As we were wheeled back to a room the nurse told me... "Don't cry until you have to... Believe everything is OK until you know anything different!" That was very calming to me.
They got me in the room and began the fun of iv's, blood work, and a lovely pelvic exam. The male nurse who was doing my IV was kind enough to tell me I should be grateful I was having a miscarriage because I didn't want a baby with screwed up chromosomes... Thank you Mr. Sensitive! First off HELLO! Don't they do sensitivity training at this hospital??? Second You know nothing about me including the fact that I work in special education and have friends with amazing children who have chromosomal abnormalities... and Third What happened to the sweet positive thinking nurse that wheeled me back... I want her back in here! Of course I couldn't say any of these things because he was sticking a needle in my arm. They started filling me up with water for an ultrasound. There is nothing like chugging gallons of water to go find out if you've lost your baby. On one hand I wanted to do it IMMEDIATELY... but on the other I was clinging to what the nurse said... everything is OK until I know something different. Once I had the ultrasound I would know one way or the other and so I felt like I was "drinking my last meal" before execution. I got to the point that I was about to burst and ready for the ultrasound when you know what happened of course... The ultrasound tech got backed up... ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? You just had me drink 3 gallons of water and now I have to wait indefinitely until they come get me??? Let They finally came to tell me I was next but at this point I was wiggling, crying, and in severe pain I needed to pee so bad! I convinced hubby that there was NO way I was waiting any longer however, I was completely hooked up to machines. I didn't want to alert them to the fact that I was going to use the bathroom so I couldn't take off any of the monitors. I made my poor husband stretch all the cords as far as possible so I could reach the very edge of the toilet. Man I've never wished I were a guy so badly before in my life! I quickly rushed back to bed, took one more swig of water and in they walked for the ultrasound. Let me take a minute here and say as we sat there for an hour or so waiting for the ultrasound and attempting to watch TV it was like a bad sitcom. Every channel we turned on had "A Baby Story," bank your baby's cord blood commercials, look at Christina Applegates new baby... everything was about babies... are you kidding me???
We went for the ultrasound holding our breath... I guess she looked at every other part of my reproductive system before my uterus. I kept looking and seeing emptiness and it became harder and harder to hold it together. Finally I saw something flicker on the screen. I whispered to hubby... "It's a heartbeat!!!" Ultrasound techs aren't supposed to tell you anything but I think she knew what we were going through and played it for us... She said "I hope 168 means something to you!" The flood gates opened... I couldn't stop crying... Not only was my baby still there but it had a strong heartbeat. It was a fighter!!! I am tearing up just relaying this information. It was such an emotional moment. After a few more pictures she helped me to the bathroom where I wasn't sure if I should do a dance or cry... I settled on peeing and doing more relieved crying... I figured we still didn't know why I was bleeding so a happy dance was probably not the best idea.
We went back to the room with goofy grins on our faces. Even though we didn't have answers yet and we didn't know if we were out of the woods... our baby was alive!!! Of course as we waited for the doctor and I wanted to hear about Christina Applegates new baby and cord blood banking all of the baby shows were over...
The doctor finally came in and told us she thought it was a subchorionic hemorrhage. Our discharge papers (that we finally got 2 hours later..hello people did you forget Im STILL pregnant and starving!!!) said that I was supposed to be on bedrest until I could see my doctor. Hubby and I both looked at each other and said "WE AREN'T HAVING ANY MORE KIDS!"
My doctor on Tuesday confirmed that not only was it probably a hemorrhage but that my placenta was completely covering the cervix. Since I had placenta previa with Bear I knew what that meant. She wasn't happy that we were leaving for a 9 day vacation to Florida but said I could go if I took it easy, drank lots of water, and DID NOT pick up Bear or anything heavy.
I'm pleased to tell you that I went in for my check up 2 weeks after that one and she lifted all restrictions!!! Not only is the SCH healed but unlike Bear my placenta is already moving. It is still very low and still covering the cervix but it is already better than it was the first time!!! Thank God for all of our blessings... for friends and family that were praying... for co-workers that will drop everything no questions asked in an emergency... for Bear who was such a big girl when I couldn't pick her up... for my husband who never once complained about all of his added responsibilities... and most of all for this precious gift we've been given... thank you for being a fighter!!! We love you!