Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Daddy knows best

Man I owe my husband one huge apology. Friday night I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up at 11 to Bees screaming bloody murder. Nothing new... she does this every night at 11. I realized that hubby must be sleeping in our room. This is new... My poor husband sleeps on the couch either upstairs or in the basement nearly every night. Both of our children are terrible sleepers and it is just easier for us to divide and conquer at night. By sleeping in the living room he isn't kept awake AS much by the baby. So at 11ish every night she drinks her 1st 4 oz bottle and again at 3:30 she drinks another one... I know I know she is almost 1 year old and doesn't need 2 bottles at night but it puts her back to sleep and frankly I am sleep deprived and working full time and it was just EASIER. You give her the bottle and she quiets immediately and goes back to sleep shortly after. Except Friday night she didn't go back to sleep... She screamed and screamed and screamed... I went to check and make sure he was in fact there. He was and he was just holding her but not giving her a bottle. I wanted to tell him to just give her a bottle but thought maybe he's trying to get rid of that bottle but I didn't want to undermine him and knew he could handle it. She wasn't going to die without her 11 pm bottle. I of course didn't go back to sleep until she quieted down 2 hours later (OK according to him it was 30 min... but to me it felt like 2 hours). She started up screaming again around 3:30. When it didn't stop I got furious. I stood by the door for a while and then went to the bathroom at which point he got furious and said "She knows your out there!" She is a mama's girl so she wouldn't quiet down until I came in. She was so furious that I wouldn't give her a bottle but again I didn't want to undermine him. I couldn't handle it and handed her to him and left. I went to the living room and sat there fuming for another 2 hours.... or at least it felt that way. I'm pretty sleep deprived so it could have been a few minutes before I passed out but it definitely wasn't until after she stopped screaming. Bear woke me up at 7 am. At 7:30 I started getting worried... by 8 I was convinced that she died of hunger. At 8:20 the two of them came out smiling and happy. She was in a GREAT mood. I however was in one of the worst moods ever. As soon as he started to get smug about how she was so happy I SNAPPED. I had been fuming long enough that I couldn't hold it back any longer and said some very mean things. I was more angry than I have ever been at him in 10 years. Mama Bear had erupted and it was directed straight at Papa. Eventually I cooled down and we went about our day. At some point I was able to talk rationally with him and agreed if we made sure she ate really well Saturday and I was convinced she was as full as possible we could try to get rid of ONE of the bottles. So I took over duty Saturday night. She cried again at the usual times and it was horrible but I stood my ground knowing she couldn't be hungry. One of my friends told me... If you woke up every night and there was someone handing you a piece of pizza you would eat it. If you woke up and it wasn't there you would say "Oh well" and go back to sleep. I kept telling myself that. My husband was so proud the next morning that I didn't give in. He told me over and over which made me feel great (Words of Affirmation Love Language right there!) The next night she cried less... it wasn't a blood curdling scream. Last night (Night 4) she just whimpered like she couldn't get comfortable and passed back out! She really didn't need those two night time bottles! Who knew?!? I guess my husband. Was I really creating my own sleep deprivation? So I owe my husband a HUGE thank-you. Thank-you for ripping off the bottle band-aid. Thank-you for turning the other cheek when I was very angry and mean. And especially thank-you for acknowledging how hard this was for me and praising and supporting me. You really are my rock!

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand Ann. I still nurse Janette when she wakes up. I'm having a hard time letting go too.