Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Ready to yank this puppy out...

All through my pregnancy any time I felt a pain my mom would say "Maybe it's your gallbladder... You know mine went bad when I was pregnant with you!" And everytime I would respond back "MOM its NOT my gallbladder!" Guess what? It was my gall bladder! A month after Ashlyn was born I was in the ER laying on the floor convinced I was dying... WORST PAIN EVER!!! I've had kidney stones, I've been in labor (though I haven't given birth naturally)... this was far and above the worst! I saw a GI doctor who was a nightmare in Tallahassee ...his words exactly were... "see that air in the corner of the room... it's been there since Jesus walked the earth and it will be there when he comes back. Thats like the gas in your intestines... it's just waiting for Jesus and causing you some ruckus..." First of all buddy I've had all the tests run and it's not gas... second of all... that is your sound medical advice... My intestinal gas is having a revival??? Have I mentioned I am glad to be out of the Florida Panhandle? He then told me to come back in 12 years when I needed a colonoscopy... no offense buddy but I don't even want to hear what analogies you would have for that! Fastforward a year... Saw a doctor up all the tests and he agreed it needed to come out and then we lost our insurance. Now almost 2 years after this all started we have insurance and FINALLY a surgery date has been set 2 weeks from now! I haven't eaten fried food in a year and haven't been able to eat spicy food for at least 6 months! You'd think I would have lost some weight right?
You would also think I would be excited... I am not... I am TERRIFIED... I have had surgery several times and have been put under twice. This time is different... not because I am actually losing an organ this time instead of a pesky kidney stone... I realized my other surgeries were before I had Ashlyn to worry about if something were to happen... even something as small as having to have the full surgery rather than laproscopic... This is an outpatient procedure... 3 little slits and all this pain is over... But for some reason it feels like so much more to me... I know its silly and I know that to my surgeon this is all in a days work... I think of friends who have gone through much more invasive, intense surgeries recently... none of these things calm my fears. They aren't kidding when they say having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body... Every decision you make affects more than just you... So even though I know how awesome I will feel after this surgery I am more anxious than excited... I know I know I need to stop watching so much Grey's Anatomy right? Friends more than ever I need your comments of reassurance...


  1. Ann, I know that there are no guarantees and everybody is different, but I had mine out 8 years ago. I was able to have the laporascopic surgery and I literally went home and ate some of my Mamaw's vegetable soup! I was completely miserable with mine the first 8 months of Sarah's life and it was such a relief to finally not be in pain after it was over. (Well, I was sore for a couple of days, but you know....)

    I will be praying for you friend!
    (BTW, what a crazy dr.!!!!! I had quite a few dr.'s make me feel like I was just crazy and that is a terrible feeling. Glad you finally found a good dr.!)

  2. will be praying for you and the doctors!

  3. just think, you were 4 months old when i had mine out. i was 45 miles away from you. they split me from sternum to navel (after u were a c-section) i only had your dad there with me. this will be a breeze for us. believe. love u and see u soon.