Friday, May 13, 2011

What's in a name?

For my husband and I, when naming our children, we put in more effort and thought than almost anything we’ve ever done in our lives. So much goes into what your child will be labeled for the rest of their lives. For us, in naming our first child, there are already so many females in our family that most names were taken or sounded like a name that was taken… 6 sisters between us with 10 nieces, add on the few cousins and best friends that had children before me and half the names I grew up loving had been crossed off the list. Then when you add in the practicality that Natasha Raquel sounds exotic to a 7 year old girl it didn’t really seem like a good fit for our family. I apologize if anyone has or is naming their daughter that… I really do think it is lovely.
I think there are 2 times in a marriage that you really find out a bulk of information you didn’t know about your spouse. The first time is when you first move in together. Then you really learn who they are. The second time is when you are naming your children. All of a sudden past memories started coming up for both of us… No way we can’t name her that… there was this girl in college… “hmmm I’ve never heard that story before and no I didn’t know that “M------“ is a slutty name…”… interesting. Another issue my husband and I came up against was our heritage. Coming from different origins to we give the baby an Irish name, a Bohemian name? What sounds good with our last name? And is it OK if you are not Hispanic or Italian can you name your daughter Isabella? For the record to our good friends who have a beautiful daughter named Isabella.. I fought that yes you most certainly can but lost that battle… good thing it would have been weird for our girls to have the same name and it suits yours better. And how far removed do you have to be from someone to name your child the same thing as their child? Will they be offended? Do you need to ask permission? Then you get into name meanings. I have always been intrigued by name meanings. Mine means “one of grace” although I am the clumsiest person on earth I like to think I go through life somewhat gracefully… or at least give off that appearance. Bear’s name means “dream” or “dreamer” in the translation we like. I think that is perfect for her. She is our dream come true. I’ll give all of you dying a hint… part of the new baby’s name means “fighter” and we think that’s perfect too… We weren’t supposed to be able to get pregnant when we did but our baby fought to be here… We went through a few scares in the beginning but one of things I said to Erik as soon as we saw that heartbeat was “our baby is a fighter!” so there ya go! Hope that holds you over until I can “spill the beans” on gender and names and you can all run out and start shopping! :o)
So now that all of that is said… Why do people think it is their right to criticize the name someone is giving their child? This is a decision between us the parents. No matter how close you feel you are to us it is a right that is truly only ours. We will listen to your advice about bottle brands, ways to burp or bathe or feed the baby but naming our child is something we’ve put time, effort, and love into. So many people felt they were “helping” us by sharing their opinion the first time around about names we were choosing. It is so so so very hurtful. If you have an opinion keep it to yourself or share it with your own partner but please don’t share it with an emotional hormonal pregnant woman. I have friends that kept their children’s names a secret until they were born. This is a great idea because nobody will make fun of a name once the baby is there. At that point you are criticizing the baby not the name. For us we will share our name because we know we have picked the right one for our child and family… that and if you don’t like it try to convince my 2 year old that her sibling will be named something different because she is pretty set on the name.

1 comment:

  1. So what you're saying is that I need to call your house and ask to speak to Ashlyn and she will spill the name AND gender? expecting my call! :) lol Can't wait to hear both!