My husband is...

almost always right... Darn him! For example on our 2nd Valentine's Day I was so frustrated because he didn't make reservations until the day of and then even more frustrated that he was taking me to a restaurant where we had to sit with OTHER PEOPLE! How romantic is that? I moaned and complained having never been out for Hibachi before. We had a blast! That Hibachi restaurant to this day is one of my favorite restaurants. He was totally right... So yesterday was our 5th wedding anniversary. One of his co-workers who I've never met was getting married and we were invited. I was incredibly irritated that we were going to be spending our anniversary at a wedding that I didn't know either of the people getting married! My husband said what better way to celebrate your anniversary than at a wedding. He insisted we were going. And guess what? He was totally right. You know what made the night even better... That I didn't know the bride and groom. Weird right? But I LOVE weddings. I love all the details of weddings. I spend most of the night running around trying to capture pictures of the first dance, the cake cutting, the toasts... but for this wedding I didn't need to be part of those moments... In fact it would have been kind of weird for this strange girl to be right up in the center of the action taking pictures. I don't even have a picture of the bride and groom. I got to sit back and enjoy the day. During the ceremony I fully absorbed all of the things the minister was teaching them about marriage. I loved that 5 years later I could honestly say we were following the road map to a good marriage that he was providing them. We are best friends, we try to listen, we always say I love you, etc... A super cool moment was that many of the songs they picked for various events were the same ones from our wedding 5 years ago. To top off the night was a moment I will never forget. I was dancing with hubby to a slow song, we were almost the only ones on the floor. He said "hold on" and went up to the DJ. From where I was standing I could see him saying "It's MY five year anniversary could you play our song Wonderful Tonight?" The way his eyes lit up when he was asking... the way he took ownership of it... Something about that moment made me fall in love with him all over. The DJ played it right away. We danced to our song like we did the first night we met, like we did at our wedding, like we have various other times in the past 10 years. But this one was a little bit different. He sang to me the same, the words were the same, I still felt like we were the only two people in the room... but as our little girl ran up to dance "two-chothers" for a few lines and I looked into his eyes something about this dance said... "we've made it!" We have two beautiful little girls, a home we are proud of, and a love more powerful than anything in the world! The night ended with him telling me what a wonderful night he had and that these have been a GREAT five years. They definitely have and I will cherish this night forever. Thank you for always knowing me better than I know myself. I love you! Our 1st dance 5 years ago Last night... 5 years and going strong!

Cheerful Nest

Ok so this has nothing to do with parenting... But I had to give a plug to an AMAZING interior designer. Sarah at Cheerful Nest is amazing. She was able to take all my ideas and fully execute my vision for our bedroom in this fantastic mood board. I love that I can send her a picture of something I saw and she can not only tell me where to find it but what it's made out of and how I could find it or make it cheaper! She really is fantastic. The craziest part? She's never even seen my house or existing furniture except in pictures I took and she totally nailed it!!! I can't wait to commission her to do other rooms in our new house! If you are redecorating she is amazing and will really help you achieve your vision! Visit her blog to see our mood board and to check out some of her great decorating ideas. I just love how she uses color!

Thoughts on Marriage

My goal for this summer is to focus more on being a good wife and a good mother. I thought I was going to get the house in order, catch up on scrapping, visit with friends, etc... and I still hope I can do these things but they will come after the needs of my family have been met. My husband has been practically begging me to "disconnect" for a LONG time. I always complained that he watches so many sports and this is my thing. But now that I've stepped back and taken some time away I can see that it was a slippery slope for me. I check Facebook while he watches a game which turns into checking Pinterest, checking my scrapbooking sites, writing blogs, scrapping pages, playing smurf village and before I know it his game is over. I justify it because I say that I am scrapping the kids memories but I never stop at just that.
Have you read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? I SWEAR by this book.  When hubby and I had been dating a few years and hit a rough patch I read it and it was mind altering for me.  The basic premise is that there are 5 "languages" of love and everyone needs to be spoken to in their love language to feel valued.  Unfortunately many of us are not in relationships with people who speak the same language as we do.  This leads to conflict and misunderstanding when all your partner is trying to do is show you love.  If you haven't read the book I suggest you do, even if you are in a wonderfully happy relationship.  If you have read it I suggest you read it again if it's been a while. Here's why.  7 years ago I was a "Words of Affirmation" love language. I need to be told things. Why I'm appreciated, that you find me attractive, what you appreciate... etc... it needs to be spelled out in words.  Hubby was an "Acts of Service" love language.  He would do things like clean out my car, get my oil changed, cook dinner, and all I would think was he is doing his share.  But these were not things he enjoyed doing. These were things he was going out of his way to do to show me he loved me. Because he was not saying "You are the most beautiful girl in the world" or "I love you because you always take such good care of me," I was frustrated and fed up and feeling like I wasn't appreciated.  In turn when I would tell him things like "You are the best boyfriend in the world" and "Wow you look hot tonight" they were just words to him.  After I read the book, took the quizzes, and shared with him it made a HUGE difference in our relationship.  I credit it with why we have now been together for 10 years and married for 5. 
Zoom forward to now... This is going to go off on a tangent... I'm sorry.  Why is it that when we are at the peak of togetherness, right before we get married, our culture says the right thing to do is go out and party as hard as possible... go to strip clubs, get wasted, and in some cases do things that would break our significant others hearts if they knew about.  (Disclaimer here... if you are the bride  of the wedding my husband was just the best man in... I do not know any details of the bachelor party which is part of my own anxiety)  Everyone acts like a fool and then returns to their normal lives...
So my husband was just best man in his best friend's wedding. He spent MONTHS planning the bachelor party.  He didn't write his speech until 5 min. before he had to give it but he started planning the night of debauchery the moment the ring went on her finger! Now I trust my husband more than I think most women do or should.  He truly is an amazing man and is very dedicated to our family.  That being said I had a hard time with the whole weekend.  I was feeling insecure already... I had a baby 7 mo. ago and know I have let myself go... I have been stressed by work and lack of sleep, and if I cook 2 nights in a two week time span it's a miracle... I just really haven't been the fun loving wife he married.  When I got down to the wedding, he was very busy with all his responsibilities.  I hardly had a chance to speak to him.  I spent a lot of the wedding speaking to friends who are having some problems in their marriages.  Add that onto the fact that he didn't say how much he missed me or that I looked good that night and I started to worry about my own marriage.  Then when I heard about him being hit on before I got there I was a total mess.  After some soul searching and a deep talk I realized I could let all this eat at me but what would that accomplish? I love my husband... I love my marriage and I wouldn't let any of this get in the way of it... Instead of thinking of what he is not doing for me... I switched my mindset to what might I not be doing for him? I retook the Love Language Quiz here and as I knew I was still "Words of Affirmation" but I also asked him to retake it...7 years later he is no longer "Acts of Service" but "Quality Time".  So all this time I have been spending on the computer, on my phone, etc... really were hurting him. 
This week I have been going out of my way to spend time with him... to "disconnect"  I left my phone at home when we went out Friday, I leave it plugged in in a different room in the evening.  I didn't scrap any pages the entire week.  I sent him messages at work.  Even when he wasn't at home I spent the time I would normally be on the computer straightening the house so that I wouldn't have to when he got home.  Not only did I find my worries and fears disappearing on their own I found a greater appreciation for my husband... me giving him what he needed in turn has made him start giving me what I need.  He texts me when he isn't home to say how happy I make him, he let me sleep in on Saturday and while I was sleeping ran out and bought me coffee and breakfast, he picked up special things at the grocery store he's never bought before just because he knew I loved it.  We are both smiling more and surprisingly he is talking more.  It's crazy to me to think that just these small changes can make such a difference in our lives.  My mom even noticed the difference.  It's only been a week but I vow to keep it up.  I married this man for a reason... I love him and our family more than anything in the world... he deserves to feel love from me every single day because he is 100% worth it. 

If you are having problems or want to love your partner/spouse more... I really suggest you go take the quiz... read the book too it really helps you see how it all works.  As for me if you don't see me blogging much (not that I have been anyhow) this is why...