My wish for you...

I was looking back at the girls baby books. There was a question in them... What is your wish for your child? I answered the standard answer... that they be happy and fulfilled, and while I still hope that they be both of those things my ultimate wish that I think will help them be most successful and happy has changed. I want both of you to be nice. I want you to know the difference between being well-liked and being popular. There is a definite difference. Being popular infers that you are somehow superior to someone else. I spent way too much time trying to be popular when I should have spent more time just being nice. Not that I wasn't a nice person but to be popular you often have to go along with the crowd and make some decisions you might not have made if you really looked at the impact on everyone else besides yourself. Being universally well-liked because you are truly a nice person will serve you much better in life. Will you still get dealt lemons... yeah of course... but your ability to spin a positive outlook on it will be better. Will you have people take advantage of you? Yes you most likely will... but you will have many more people that look up to you, love you, and want to help you because you have been a positive light in their life. As I type I am thinking back to my own high school years. There are two girls in particular that stand out because they were TRULY nice people. They still are incredibly nice good people. I am so blessed that through all of my shenanigans in high school I was able to get to know them because of my dance team. I believe they both read my blog and I hope they know how much I appreciate them and look up to them. When you think back on your high school years... was your Prom Queen the most popular girl in school or the most well-liked? Often it would be the first but my senior year it was so amazing to see the nicest girl in school get it. She is such an inspiration to so many. Along with her best friend I have never heard either of these women, even when they were girls, say something bad about someone. They are the first to celebrate your happy moments and the first to send a prayer in your times of need. When I think about what I want for my girls... It's not for them simply to be happy but for them to be nice... for everyone around them to feel better about their world because they were in it... because that is how they make me feel every moment I spend with them!

How things change...

I have a good friend and loyal blog reader that says he loves my "How life has changed" Facebook posts. I didn't realize how many I have written until he pointed it out but it's so true. The latest basically mentioned how Fourth of July went from my favorite holiday ever to that terrible WEEK that people keep my kids up all night long because they are setting off fireworks. I have always loved the 4th. All you have to do is drink beer, eat hotdogs,be with friends and family, and listen to country music. I know other people change a few of those ingredients around but for me all 4 of those are a necessity. But its definitely harder with kids. You have to work around naptimes, keep applying sunscreen, keep a constant eye (did you know the number 1 day of the year for fatal accidents in children is the 4th?), and then to top it off you are doing all of this sleep deprived because the neighbors have been shooting fireworks off all night long waking the kids up repeatedly since the 1st. So the Fourth of July has changed a bit. I still did manage to drink a beer, eat a hotdog, listen to country music, and spend time with friends and family. I also discovered that from the front yard of our new house you can see the fireworks PERFECTLY! It was awesome. There is nothing more amazing that watching the wonder in your children's eyes as they watch the fireworks! Here is a new "How things change"... What is attractive... what is sexy... how that has changed. About 10 years ago I was attracted to this hot guy on the dance floor of a country bar. He looked great in his jeans and he had awesome dance moves. He was so confident out there I had to find out more about him. Although I am still attracted to his moves, confidence, and the way he looks in a good pair of jeans... that is not the number 1 reason I am attracted to him anymore... Is there anything sexier than seeing a hot guy confidently carrying a Vera Bradley diaper bag? What about watching him rock his baby to sleep? Tonight we went down the street for some ice cream. Although it was close to the baby's bedtime and it was hot and I knew she'd be getting cranky... I totally forgot to grab a pacifier. Right as I was getting frustrated my husband reaches in his pocket and pulls out not 1 but several pacifiers. I absolutely love this about him. No matter where we are going he always remembers to stuff his pockets with pacifiers. To give a shout out to my mom here she is super good at finding and collecting pacifiers too... I am not... at all. I imagine that the days that I am at home searching the house and unable to find a single one they are all sitting in my husbands pockets while he's at work. I am so blessed to have a husband that puts his family first and takes such good care of all the little details in our lives. There is nothing more attractive than a good daddy!

My husband is...

almost always right... Darn him! For example on our 2nd Valentine's Day I was so frustrated because he didn't make reservations until the day of and then even more frustrated that he was taking me to a restaurant where we had to sit with OTHER PEOPLE! How romantic is that? I moaned and complained having never been out for Hibachi before. We had a blast! That Hibachi restaurant to this day is one of my favorite restaurants. He was totally right... So yesterday was our 5th wedding anniversary. One of his co-workers who I've never met was getting married and we were invited. I was incredibly irritated that we were going to be spending our anniversary at a wedding that I didn't know either of the people getting married! My husband said what better way to celebrate your anniversary than at a wedding. He insisted we were going. And guess what? He was totally right. You know what made the night even better... That I didn't know the bride and groom. Weird right? But I LOVE weddings. I love all the details of weddings. I spend most of the night running around trying to capture pictures of the first dance, the cake cutting, the toasts... but for this wedding I didn't need to be part of those moments... In fact it would have been kind of weird for this strange girl to be right up in the center of the action taking pictures. I don't even have a picture of the bride and groom. I got to sit back and enjoy the day. During the ceremony I fully absorbed all of the things the minister was teaching them about marriage. I loved that 5 years later I could honestly say we were following the road map to a good marriage that he was providing them. We are best friends, we try to listen, we always say I love you, etc... A super cool moment was that many of the songs they picked for various events were the same ones from our wedding 5 years ago. To top off the night was a moment I will never forget. I was dancing with hubby to a slow song, we were almost the only ones on the floor. He said "hold on" and went up to the DJ. From where I was standing I could see him saying "It's MY five year anniversary could you play our song Wonderful Tonight?" The way his eyes lit up when he was asking... the way he took ownership of it... Something about that moment made me fall in love with him all over. The DJ played it right away. We danced to our song like we did the first night we met, like we did at our wedding, like we have various other times in the past 10 years. But this one was a little bit different. He sang to me the same, the words were the same, I still felt like we were the only two people in the room... but as our little girl ran up to dance "two-chothers" for a few lines and I looked into his eyes something about this dance said... "we've made it!" We have two beautiful little girls, a home we are proud of, and a love more powerful than anything in the world! The night ended with him telling me what a wonderful night he had and that these have been a GREAT five years. They definitely have and I will cherish this night forever. Thank you for always knowing me better than I know myself. I love you! Our 1st dance 5 years ago Last night... 5 years and going strong!

Cheerful Nest

Ok so this has nothing to do with parenting... But I had to give a plug to an AMAZING interior designer. Sarah at Cheerful Nest is amazing. She was able to take all my ideas and fully execute my vision for our bedroom in this fantastic mood board. I love that I can send her a picture of something I saw and she can not only tell me where to find it but what it's made out of and how I could find it or make it cheaper! She really is fantastic. The craziest part? She's never even seen my house or existing furniture except in pictures I took and she totally nailed it!!! I can't wait to commission her to do other rooms in our new house! If you are redecorating she is amazing and will really help you achieve your vision! Visit her blog to see our mood board and to check out some of her great decorating ideas. I just love how she uses color!

Thoughts on Marriage

My goal for this summer is to focus more on being a good wife and a good mother. I thought I was going to get the house in order, catch up on scrapping, visit with friends, etc... and I still hope I can do these things but they will come after the needs of my family have been met. My husband has been practically begging me to "disconnect" for a LONG time. I always complained that he watches so many sports and this is my thing. But now that I've stepped back and taken some time away I can see that it was a slippery slope for me. I check Facebook while he watches a game which turns into checking Pinterest, checking my scrapbooking sites, writing blogs, scrapping pages, playing smurf village and before I know it his game is over. I justify it because I say that I am scrapping the kids memories but I never stop at just that.
Have you read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? I SWEAR by this book.  When hubby and I had been dating a few years and hit a rough patch I read it and it was mind altering for me.  The basic premise is that there are 5 "languages" of love and everyone needs to be spoken to in their love language to feel valued.  Unfortunately many of us are not in relationships with people who speak the same language as we do.  This leads to conflict and misunderstanding when all your partner is trying to do is show you love.  If you haven't read the book I suggest you do, even if you are in a wonderfully happy relationship.  If you have read it I suggest you read it again if it's been a while. Here's why.  7 years ago I was a "Words of Affirmation" love language. I need to be told things. Why I'm appreciated, that you find me attractive, what you appreciate... etc... it needs to be spelled out in words.  Hubby was an "Acts of Service" love language.  He would do things like clean out my car, get my oil changed, cook dinner, and all I would think was he is doing his share.  But these were not things he enjoyed doing. These were things he was going out of his way to do to show me he loved me. Because he was not saying "You are the most beautiful girl in the world" or "I love you because you always take such good care of me," I was frustrated and fed up and feeling like I wasn't appreciated.  In turn when I would tell him things like "You are the best boyfriend in the world" and "Wow you look hot tonight" they were just words to him.  After I read the book, took the quizzes, and shared with him it made a HUGE difference in our relationship.  I credit it with why we have now been together for 10 years and married for 5. 
Zoom forward to now... This is going to go off on a tangent... I'm sorry.  Why is it that when we are at the peak of togetherness, right before we get married, our culture says the right thing to do is go out and party as hard as possible... go to strip clubs, get wasted, and in some cases do things that would break our significant others hearts if they knew about.  (Disclaimer here... if you are the bride  of the wedding my husband was just the best man in... I do not know any details of the bachelor party which is part of my own anxiety)  Everyone acts like a fool and then returns to their normal lives...
So my husband was just best man in his best friend's wedding. He spent MONTHS planning the bachelor party.  He didn't write his speech until 5 min. before he had to give it but he started planning the night of debauchery the moment the ring went on her finger! Now I trust my husband more than I think most women do or should.  He truly is an amazing man and is very dedicated to our family.  That being said I had a hard time with the whole weekend.  I was feeling insecure already... I had a baby 7 mo. ago and know I have let myself go... I have been stressed by work and lack of sleep, and if I cook 2 nights in a two week time span it's a miracle... I just really haven't been the fun loving wife he married.  When I got down to the wedding, he was very busy with all his responsibilities.  I hardly had a chance to speak to him.  I spent a lot of the wedding speaking to friends who are having some problems in their marriages.  Add that onto the fact that he didn't say how much he missed me or that I looked good that night and I started to worry about my own marriage.  Then when I heard about him being hit on before I got there I was a total mess.  After some soul searching and a deep talk I realized I could let all this eat at me but what would that accomplish? I love my husband... I love my marriage and I wouldn't let any of this get in the way of it... Instead of thinking of what he is not doing for me... I switched my mindset to what might I not be doing for him? I retook the Love Language Quiz here and as I knew I was still "Words of Affirmation" but I also asked him to retake it...7 years later he is no longer "Acts of Service" but "Quality Time".  So all this time I have been spending on the computer, on my phone, etc... really were hurting him. 
This week I have been going out of my way to spend time with him... to "disconnect"  I left my phone at home when we went out Friday, I leave it plugged in in a different room in the evening.  I didn't scrap any pages the entire week.  I sent him messages at work.  Even when he wasn't at home I spent the time I would normally be on the computer straightening the house so that I wouldn't have to when he got home.  Not only did I find my worries and fears disappearing on their own I found a greater appreciation for my husband... me giving him what he needed in turn has made him start giving me what I need.  He texts me when he isn't home to say how happy I make him, he let me sleep in on Saturday and while I was sleeping ran out and bought me coffee and breakfast, he picked up special things at the grocery store he's never bought before just because he knew I loved it.  We are both smiling more and surprisingly he is talking more.  It's crazy to me to think that just these small changes can make such a difference in our lives.  My mom even noticed the difference.  It's only been a week but I vow to keep it up.  I married this man for a reason... I love him and our family more than anything in the world... he deserves to feel love from me every single day because he is 100% worth it. 

If you are having problems or want to love your partner/spouse more... I really suggest you go take the quiz... read the book too it really helps you see how it all works.  As for me if you don't see me blogging much (not that I have been anyhow) this is why...

My funny little girl...

I am Irish and love St. Patrick's Day. As soon as we realized that it fell on a Saturday this year we made plans to head to Chicago to see the river dyed green. Despite living in the area for 2 years we had yet to go see it. I told Bear all about how the leprechaun's were being tricky and dyed the river. She thought it was so neat and kept looking on the bridges for leprechauns. Here is a picture of my little family at the river... Ignore Bear's cranky face... she hates pictures being taken (and it was 80 degrees) but she was actually having a good time.
So fast forward to Monday. We were out to eat and she needed to go potty. We got in there and the water was blue. She had never seen this before and was fascinated. She said "Mommy it like the river but blue! Was it leprechauns?" I said "Hmm maybe it was smurfs!" She said "Yeah I think its smurfs! I pee in it and make it yellow!" Nice right? So after she hopped down to see if it was yellow and was shocked it was green! A lesson in color mixing right there in Firehouse Subs! Then she looks at me and said astounded "Mommy leprechauns no dyed the water! Smurfs and people PEED in it!!!" LOL I tried to stifle my laughter the best I could! How their little brains work! I almost died! Any hilarious revelations from your children?

Owls, Owls, and more Owls

I have a friend, one of my closest friends, who has just gotten her design blog up and running. You have to check her out here... It's AWESOME! Not just because the first few blogs are about ME... but because she is awesome! Her baby girl Penelope is exactly one month younger than Bees so we are going through a lot of the same things right now. She is my best friend from high school and although we live in different states I love that we have this new bond to share! Her blog today is about projects you are proud of and also happens to be an adorable sock owl mobile for Penelope. Bear decided Bees' "nursery" should be owls too so I thought I would show off a few projects I took on to decorate. Now all of a sudden there are owls EVERYWHERE but when I decided to do owls I couldn't find ANY! I searched high and low and eventually made my own art and stuffed animals. My mom made her cribsheet. Here are a few pictures!
In this one you can see the few owls I did find but I really wanted to show off the crib sheet mom made! So cute!

The little owl in the front is one mom and I made! We made her a couple. I'm very proud of them!

I couldn't find any artwork I loved so I made this one... I'm not super happy with it but I was 9 months pregnant and nesting and needed it DONE! The owls are pretty cute though!

So do you have any projects your proud of?